In late July a small group of CGO students visited the Oregon State Penitentiary. We attended a regular meeting of the 7 Step Club, an inmate run rehabilitation group within the prison. The students who had also attended a similar event in May were asked to speak about their previous experience–thoughts, feelings, and how it had impacted their perspective. My fellow speakers and myself took different approaches to our few minutes, but with a common theme of respect and the desire to connect. The inmates were very receptive to each speaker, and were eager to share stories and interact on a real level. This openness was refreshing.

The most impactful part of the evening, for me, was mingling with the inmates. I talked to a man who had graduated from the University of Oregon in 1953. He had been a wrestler and had studied dentistry. Another man was studying Spanish, and we discussed how we both secretly watched Telemundo. There was a genuine desire to connect from the men that I don’t often encounter in other settings. However, the experience did not leave me with any resolute opinions or ideas. After discussing politics with one man, he revealed to me that he was a registered sex offender. He had been sentenced to 85 years without parole for rape. As he told me his story, and explained that this woman liked to falsely accuse men, mentioning the fact that she was a single mother as if this somehow bolstered his story, I had no response. And as I sit here writing this, I cannot remember his name. Sensing my discomfort he quickly shifted conversation back to our discussion of taxes. I still do not know what to make of that minute and a half story. I so wish I had something impactful or powerful to say apart from “I just don’t know.”

The experience as a whole compels me to try and answer, what function does prison serve in a society? What function would it serve in an ideal world? I had spoken to men whom I had no doubt could be contributing members of society, in part because they had learned to be so within the prison walls. But I am not sure how my feelings toward this man fit into this puzzle. I can point to flaws in the system, one being the lack of rehabilitative services available to inmates. But I can’t say resolutely to what extent punishment should be involved. I certainly can’t say who truly deserves to be there and who shouldn’t. This experience more than anything has left me curious and wanting to return. In part this desire is selfish. I want to resolve the dissonance in my mind, and connect with people who change my perspective because they affect me positively. However, the motivation to return also stems from what I believe we owe the incarcerated. We owe a comprehensive understanding of those that have been disenfranchised and treated as an undeserving fringe group.